Living a life is an experience, as if you are going on a road trip in a foreign place where you feel everything around you is strange. Even though there are many uncertainties, yet, most of time you still would enjoy the journey of traveling because humans have the ability to learn the unknown and create an experience which later on would have become a memory for remembrance. Living a life is an experience whether you are visiting the park in different areas around your neighbourhood, or have the opportunity to visit different parts of the world. The way you experience life mostly is impacted by how you create such experience for the journey you have invited yourself onto.
Living a trauma life is also an experience, unlike the road trip we travel to visit in a specific geographical destination, the foreign place we would make a trip to visit is within our inner self. When we have a trauma response, it can be beneficial for us to visit the unknown area of the inner self. It can be an adventure to create an experience to explore and to learn about the uncertainty and insecurity we have been experiencing in our trauma self, yet, such adventure can be a memorable journey of growth.
Working with trauma is a process of holistic engagement to the self, it is a process of constantly asking questions to challenge what we have valued, what we have believed, what we have learned and what we have experienced. However, having questions to ask the self is different than having a self doubt. Having self-doubt is the sign of an insecurity, and self-doubt itself is a trauma response. Having questions to ask the self, on the other hand, is a process of activating the practice of self-reflection and self-learning, such process of engagement enable a person to make a firm reconnection with the authentic self, at the same time, to create a better engagement in the world we having an experience in.
Trauma informed coaching is a working process to support people gaining an understanding of why they have reacted to situation with fear and uncertainty, more importantly, enable people to proceed self-reflection, so to achieve meaningful learning from their inner trauma through their healthy self, so that people can gain their awareness and courage to reactivate the suppressed inner ability and develop new perceptions and skills, which in the lens of coaching is referred to as the potential strength, so that people can further create new living experience in life.
A critical question to ask is how can a person, who is experiencing trauma, work with the trauma self? We are living in a traumatizing world, whether a person has a willingness to work with her/his inner trauma would have a significant impact on how effective the person would respond to life situations. It is beneficial for people to work with their inner trauma in order to create a better life to live in this traumatizing world, otherwise, the world will continually get people perpetrated and keep them living in the cycle of re-traumatization. That's the reason why trauma informed coaching is necessary to be in place to provide people support and enable people to address the trauma and drama they are experiencing in the modern society.
The focus in Trauma informed coaching mainly address to the “here and now”. The Pandemic, like many other traumatic events, brought people’s attention to take a look at Trauma. Trauma is not about the past, trauma is the reminder of the past. The meaning of “reminder” is, the experience in the present time activates the memory or the sense in a similar situation from the previous living experience that, it resulted in a person living the present life in fear and uncertainty. Thus, the dynamic for coaching work, in the area of trauma, is stretched between the earlier experience of emotional trauma and the current trauma response to the personal and social traumatic experience. The coaching process may require to do the healing work for one’s trauma living experience in the past, as well as to do the educational consulting work for the trauma living experience in the present.
The appropriate solution for a matter often comes from the within. The person who is having the trauma response would be required to do her/his own inner work in order to create a better solution to address any trauma responded issue. I often say work with trauma. What may the work be required to do alongside with trauma then? Trauma informed coaching, which I see as the process of trauma learning for trauma work, is about gaining awareness and creating an experience. Then, it comes down to asking the root question: what does a person, who is having a trauma response, need to do in order to create an experience to proceed life with strength and growth in the “here and now”?
Trauma work is a complex work and everyone handles their personal traumatic experience differently. At the same time, as a trauma informed coach, I wish to provide a framework that allows people to give the self a holistic scan, so that they can gain self awareness and work on the areas which may assist them to work on healing and solution, in response to any trauma related experience in life.
The Circle of Balance is adapted from the Medicine Wheel, which is introduced from the teaching in indigenous community. The framework of the Medicine Wheel has been used for the work of community development and support. Beeskit Social approaches the framework of the Medicine Wheel alongside with the lens of coaching, with an aim to help people gain awareness of the holistic self. The Circle of Balance is developed in response to what component of live can be in place to enable a person creating a healing experience for the journey of trauma recovery at the time of “here and now”. The Circle of Balance can be used as a coaching tool, as a reminder or a guideline, for people to help the self establish a healthy self during the time of chaos.
I want to invite you to see trauma as an experience, because 1. trauma does not define who a person is, and a person is able to make change throughout the process of gaining an understanding of how the impact of trauma may shape the self; 2. trauma is overloaded with senses, such senses could lead a person navigating the self into many different living pathways while processing the experience of trauma, 3 by making commitment to work with the trauma response, a person could enter a process of learning journey, so that the person can reactivate the part of the self, which has been suppressed, for future personal growth.
The “Medicine Wheel” introduces the basic domains - which are Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual - that a person can navigate around these components to find balance in oneself. The Circle of Balance is adapted from the structure of the Medicine Wheel” and further looks into how a person can apply the “Medicine Wheel” into a practice and help oneself to achieve growth, at the same time, to overcome any challenges in life.
The Circle of Balance looks at two experiences a person may navigate the self in around the “Medicine Wheel”, one is the internal experience and the other one is the external experience. The internal experience invites the person to look inward to gain awareness for self-caring, and the external experience invites the person to make connection to the outer world as creating an experience to promote healing and growth. Both internal experience and external experience work one another toward building a healthy self, at the same time, it provides some structural insight to a person, regarding what personal boundaries between the internal experience and external experience a holistic self may want to establish in order to achieve a healthy balance in the desired living life.
The Circle of Balance brings the lens of coaching into the experience of trauma learning, which is action oriented, the learner is invited to gain awareness of what has happened and further create the experience of what they wish and want regarding each domain, in response to the time of processing their trauma experience. In a way, the Circle of Balance can be used as a guideline tool that the person can use such a tool to gain awareness, as establishing a healthy self to proactively create a desired experience to work with the trauma self.
In the Circle of Balance, the internal experience is referred as the circle of inner self and the external experience is referred as the circle of outer connection, the developed components introduce the areas a person a work on creating experience for the process of trauma recovery, the developed components are listed in the following area:
Body Care is located in the inner circle of the physical domain
Energy Release is located in the inner circle of the emotional domain
Brain Break is located in the inner circle of the mental domain
Inner Connection is located in the inner circle of the spiritual domain
Safe Space is located in the outer circle of the physical domain
Neutral Activity is located in the outer circle of the emotional domain
Supportive Environment is located in the outer circle of the mental domain
Positive Engagement is located in the outer circle of the spiritual domain
In the Circle of Balance, the set up of the boundaries for each domain is suggested to work toward to the following coaching goals:
Safety can be the coaching goal for physical boundary
Calmness can be the coaching goal for emotional boundary
Neutrality can be the coaching goal for mental boundary
Mindset can be the coaching goal for spiritual boundary
Instead of telling you what to do, as a coach, I would like to invite you to make some personal reflection on the following questions, so as to provide you a pathway of guidance to discover the answer which you are looking for to improve your life. Before you proceed to the question, I would like to invite you to bring your holistic self together by doing some breathing exercise. Taking a few deep breaths to find your centre, and bring your conscious awareness to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual domains.
Now I would like to invite you to proceed to the following coaching questions:
Body Care
Which part of your body requires your attention today?
What can you do to give care to this part of your body, and it makes you feel a sense of accomplishment?
Energy Release
Imagine the inner energy you have in your feelings is a person, what does your inner energy look like today?
How would you like to spend your time with this person, or what can you do to invite this person to leave your personal space?
Brain Break
What are you thinking constantly, and what is one thing you can do to walk away from this thought?
What are you tired of looking at, and what can you do to give your eyes some rest?
Inner Connection
Put your hand to the area where you think your soul is located, give the area a loving touch, how is that feel to you?
What does your inner self try to speak to you about, and how would you like to respond to those spoken words authentically?
Safe Space
In which area you can find a sense of belonging in the space you're located in?
What are the basic things you need to have that make you feel protected and certain in your safe space?
Neutral Activity
What do you notice in your gut feeling when you communicate with others in the activity?
What assumption or beliefs are you holding onto about the activity you are participating in, are those assumptions or beliefs healthy to you?
Supportive Environment
What are you looking to learn and improve in this supportive environment?
How can the resources in this supportive environment make changes in your life?
Positive Engagement
What are you grateful for in this engagement?
What would you like to create and contribute for yourself and for others in this engagement?
I hope the Circle of Balance can bring you on a journey of healing. By gaining awareness of each domain, you will find the courage and curiosity you need to create new experiences. The impact of Trauma can be devastating, however, as long as you have thoughts of wonder and keep seeking the meaning of life, you have the ability to continually create an experience to honour each moment you are living in. Every little moment of your creation matters to your journey of healing because it all works toward your growth. Trauma does not mean an ending; Perhaps, trauma is a moment of pause where you gain the time you need to process your own wonder; once you are ready, your desired journey begins and you will create new moments and experiences for your growth journey.
Cite:
Perreault, Yvette. When Grief Comes to Work: Managing Grief and Loss in the Workplace, a Handbook for Managers and Supervisors. AIDS Bereavement and Resiliency Program of Ontario, 2011.
Smith, Julia Vaughan. Coaching and Trauma From surviving to thriving. Open University Press, 2019
Trauma-Informed Coaching Certification (2021) by Moving the Human Spirit
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