What can a growth mindset be like in Trauma-informed coaching?
Give permission to become the authentic self
A growth mindset is about getting in touch with the authentic self, so that you can experience your actual self. Setting aside the expectation of how you should become the ideal figure of you, which is established by yourself, others, and society ; instead, giving yourself the permission to meet the part of your inner self, and embrace your true self in the moment. Your inner self speaks the truth of how you are, and give you guidance to grow the strength you are required to have in order to become what you can be.
Allow the experience of being vulnerable
A growth mindset is about having an appreciation for the part of your living experience that is vulnerable; at the same time, taking an adventure to allow your holistic self to experience the realness of any emotional feeling. Being in vulnerability is an experiential self-engaging process that can activate effective learning for you to study the actual self, so that you can gain the insight you required to have in order to work with the impact of your feeling and its emotional experience.
Turn the experience of pain into an understanding of learning for gain
A growth mindset is about witnessing the pain of what the actual self is experiencing. By studying the painful experience the actual self is living in, you can enable the inner self to learn a lesson from such experience. The reason part of the living experience is painful, because the subject matter related to the pain is important to the actual self, and the actual self lacks the ability to set up appropriate boundaries in response to the pain. Therefore, studying the experience of pain is a process to gain a lesson for the inner self evoking more awareness of the boundaries of what the actual self would like to set up in life.
Proactively work with the part of “what I can”
A growth mindset is about activating the part of the self that says “I can” with a commitment to take action and to make a belief as creating new possibilities. Gain awareness and give respect to the part of the self that it says “I can’t”, let the part of "I can't" be a drive to gain an understanding of what barriers are there; at the same time, proactively being mindful, as spending time to work effectively with the part of the self that it says “I can” for the upcoming living time and space. "I can" is a powerful statement to make and belief to have, it opens many connections to the unknown possibility.
Being curious to explore the unknown in you at a safe place
A growth mindset is about getting to know the part of you that is unknown. Part of the unknown is in your subconscious, and those subconsciously unknown lays many potential strengths and solutions for your personal development. Having curiosity to explore the unknown in you is one of the keys to overcome your internal trauma, challenge, and pain. The words "I don't know" is not an excuse, instead, it is a gateway that opens an opportunity for you to explore what you need to know. Exploring the unknown is a process to discover and release the inner energy you may have that has caused stress. Being in the state of the unknown can unlock your pandora box for you to explore the richness and uniqueness in you.
Being humble to yourself and to people who you are engaged in the dialogue
A growth mindset is about having an open mind to receive new information, and to create new wisdom by integrating internal learning you have with any new receiving messages from others. Being humble allows you to engage in a coaching process of integration. When you are humble to yourself, you stop suppressing your thoughts and feelings so that you can better make connections to your true inner self. When you are humble to people who you are engaged with, you are able to gain a new lens, as seeing subject matters in different concepts and approaches, so that you can build new ideas for your new possibility.
How do you picture growth?
Perhaps, we can learn about growth through the nature. There are three famous laws of growth: The growth of lotus, the growth of bamboo, the growth of golden cicada:
The Growth of Lotus
The lotus in a pond will bloom every day twice as many as the previous day.
If it reaches the 30th day, the lotus will fill the entire pond.
I have a question for you, in which day, half of the lotus in the pond would be bloomed? If your answer is Day 15? I am sorry to tell you, that's a wrong answer! the correct answer is Day 29. This is the law of lotus.
On the first day, only a small part is open, and on the second day, they will open at the same two-way speed as the previous day.
By the 29th day, the lotus was only half full, and the other half would not be full until the last day.
In other words: the speed of the last day accelerated, equal to the sum of the previous 29 days.
The Growth of Bamboo
In the initial four years, the bamboo only grew 3cm.
Starting from the fifth year, the bamboo grew crazily at a rate of 30 cm per day, and it only took six weeks to grow to 15 meters.
what have the bamboo done before the fifth year?
In fact, in the first four years, bamboo has extended its roots in the soil for hundreds of square meters to establish its foundation for its rapid growth later in the years.
The Growth of Golden Cicada
A cicada must first live in the underground with darkness for three years; actually, there is a kind of American cicadas, they must live underground for 17 years.
In the darkness, the cicadas endure isolation and loneliness, they only grow up a little bit by consuming the juice of the roots, and then one summer night, they climb onto the branch quietly, and transform themselves into a talented musician overnight, as they take on the stage to break the silence in the summer evening to play their beautiful music .
Then they look forward to the moment of the sun rises, by the time they see the sunshine, they fly to the sky and rush to their freedom. This is called the Golden Cicada's Law.
The significant time of growth for Lotus, Bamboo and Golden Cicada is in the early time where they experience the darkness underground. It is crucial to develop a growth mindset to overcome the darkness . Have you gain some insight from the growth of Lotus, Bamboo, and Golden Cicada for picturing what growth may look like for you? How you picture your growth may have a significant impact on how you overcome an obstcle and handle the unexpected situation in a challenging time? A coaching conversation will enable you to develop a growth mindset that it helps you feeling grounded to learn continually and to achieve roundly. Remember, we can raise to heal and get grounded to achieve. A simple conversation, like a coaching talk, can make a difference in a part of your life when you are experiencing pain and challenges. Feel free to connect with Beeskit Social when you want to have a Coaching Talk, we are here to listen and to support your growth.
Beeskit Social’s coaching program believes everyone can raise to heal and get grounded to achieve. The program continually builds on the footprint of trauma-informed practice with a proactive solution-focused coaching approach, that it aims to support and awaken people, to discover their inner potential as well as to build impactful living strategies through the lens of trauma learning, so that, people can develop leadership skills from the inner-self to overcome traumatic experiences and to thrive in challenges. The coaching program can be conducted in three different languages (English, Cantonese and Mandarin) in the setting of one-on-one coaching or group coaching; it is created to provide coaching support to international students, LGBTQ youth and members of the LGBTQ community, the Asian community as well as to anyone who is looking to receive Trauma-Informed coaching support. Beeskit Social is established with a vision that, everyone can learn to thrive from challenges, and become a trauma-informed leader to create new transforming possibilities in the living traumatic world.
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