Human behavior flows from 3 main sources: desire, emotion and knowledge
- PLATO
What had happened when a pandemic swept the world? The whole world gone into two extreme ways of living, in one living world, the street and facility in the living area all gone in silence and the way how people live all return back to the basic of the basic; in another world is the chaos people experience a living life in rushing and competing with time in the sound of alarms, sirens ventilators and groans to save life. If you wanna gain a better understanding of how a person’s experience of living in trauma is like, perhaps, experiencing your life by visiting places between these two extreme ways of living may provide you some insights.
Recently, I came across these tiktok videos, and the audio of the video sounds like this ““is it me? Am I the drama? I don’t think I’m the drama… Maybe I am! Am I the villain? I don’t think I’m the villain!” After I saw the video and kept repeating to hear the audio, I laughed. My laugh comes from a couple places, one laugh comes from the work I aim to develop as I further work my way to think how I can encourage and invite people to improve their living by taking a look at their trauma and make a growth learning from their trauma; part of me saying to myself “you know, trauma can be quite messy and full of crazy nonsense, making people to look at their trauma and open those wounds, don’t you think that’s kind of evil?”; another laugh comes from my thought to question what makes people to cause drama in a peaceful living life as well as to play the role of a villain in human connection, the answer to the question of “what” can be an indication for people to consider that, the possibility may all come from the place of trauma, in which people have activated their trauma response and making their trauma response into a way of practice to engage with people who are living around them. Those practices of engagement can be toxic, and people are suffering from those practices of engagement, yet, everyone seems to see it as a normal and common practice without questioning where those toxic practices of engagement really come from? Well, in my perspective, it all comes from TRAUMA!
I do not have a deep study in psychology, and I am not a psychotherapist to make trauma into different categories, or diagnose people to get access for any medical treatment. I consider myself to be an experiential educator and a coach. Simply, I want to approach trauma in a non-medical lens where I see trauma as a living and learning experience and invite people to approach trauma healing in a very basic and evolving way. I believe everyone has the capacity to experience life and learn to create experience in life. I also believe people are not a problem and never shall be seen or treated as a problem. When it comes to the subject matter of trauma, I agree there is complexity in each individual’s trauma, at the same time, I also agree trauma healing can be simple without complexity.
The purpose of approaching trauma healing in coaching is not to tell you how you should heal yourselves, but rather, to invite you, the reader, to look at the different pathways where you can explore and start designing your trauma healing journey. The engagement in coaching for trauma healing invites you to take on responsibility for your personal healing and take time as well as make effort for the self to heal and grow. You are not living a life to be fixed, but rather, you are living to learn, to create and to grow. Embodied a growth mindset and design thinking mindset, you can build trust with the self and to enable yourself getting access to trauma healing attentively and effectively.
“all relationships are unique; therefore all recovery is individual”
- James and Friedman, 2009
Your trauma healing is unique for you. No one has the right to tell you what you can do and cannot do; no one has the right to take away your power and strength to heal yourself; no one has the right to judge and criticize you for the healing work you have done for yourself for growth and evolvement. You have the whole capacity to learn knowledge, develop skill, obtain strength to stand up for yourself, speak for yourself, and work for yourself.
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